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Duchess of Cambridge vows ‘never to return’ to village after receiving an...
The Duchess of Cambridge has vowed ‘never to return to Harold’ after her visit to re-open the old people’s home on Wednesday. Her remarks follow an embarrassing incident which saw a resident follow...
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BREAKING NEWS: Graham Norton arrested naked in High Street
Disgusting Graham Norton wasn’t this one 49-year-old Irish television presenter Graham Norton, host of comedy chat show The Graham Norton Show, shares his name with a man arrested naked in Harold...
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No mincing about: all the beef on the Grand National
Grand National 2013 – your guide to the runners and riders, from the Evening Harold’s own racing correspondent! This year looks like being the most open Grand National for a while, with a mixture of...
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Dress rehearsal for Queen’s funeral was lovely, says Charles
Piss off Charlie Prince Charles, heir to the Throne for 60 years, is said to be very impressed at how well today’s dress rehearsal for the Queen’s funeral went. “One couldn’t help but notice how...
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Murderous magician will find out what his Wandsworth
One of Harold’s most beguiling mysteries has finally been solved, and sadly proven to be a most despicable and gruesome crime. Every local knew and loved the spectacular magic show put on annually by...
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Pope and ex-Pope ‘will perform breakfast sketch from Morecambe and Wise’
What do you think of it so far? Following ex-Pope Benedict’s decision to move into the Vatican along with Pope Francis, there were fears among Papal advisors that the unprecedented situation might lead...
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Reoffending rates rocket as inmates seek to avoid Huhne
I’m here to help Suggestions by disgraced former cabinet minister Chris Huhne that he will embark on a new career helping rehabilitate prisoners are in doubt after inmates at Leyhill Prison said they...
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Oh great – it’s a nuclear pissing contest and one guy loves golden showers
The world is resigned to Armageddon after the realisation that at least one of the leaders in the US / North Korean nuclear pissing contest positively welcomes a golden shower. “We’re screwed. Trump is...
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